The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

Blog EXCLUSIVE!

2005-12-24T02:32:00.000-02:00

Sources tell me a well-known Columbus blogger is planning a new venture that will start in 2006.

I've been told it has something to do with Frisbees, and there is already a website in the works for said venture.

Care to take a guess at who this secret blogger is?

525, 600 Minutes

2005-12-15T02:22:00.000-02:00

I've been in Columbus for almost a year. If you want to get exact, February 14 is my one year anniversary at WTVM. That's right. I started work on Valentine's Day. One year later, I still don't understand this city. Don't understand what causes people to plant and grow here. Don't understand how the gap between the haves and have-nots got so vast. Don't understand why there's not some sense of community. I have theories, mind you, but not any sort of complete understanding.

I think the thing that has completely thrown me for a loop is the racial tension. I know I'm only 23-years-old, and to some, that might seem like a drop in the ol' proverbial bucket. But, I like to think that in those years, I've acquired some wisdom. I have never been in a place where race issues are living, breathing entities, the pink elephant in every single room. It's trite, naive, and simplistic, but I really don't understand why we can't all get along. I know there's history behind it. U.S. history. A history of believing anybody who wasn't white was lower than anybody who was. That simply isn't true. I hear excuses all the time about so and so who learned racism from their parents. Any kind of racism. There's a time to grow up, and a time to accept the fact that your parents don't know everything. And a time to really look at your opinions and know exactly why they're yours. Because 'that's the way mommy and daddy did it' ain't cuttin' anymore. Know history. Back up what you believe.

That goes for any kind of discrimination too. Nothing, nothing at all, infuriates me more than to hear people pass judgements on someone who is different than them. Does it really matter who loves whom how? No. It's no one's business. Not mine, not my neighbor's, and, despite what he thinks, it's not even the business of the leader of the free world.

Everyone has a right to live how they want to, and no one deserves to be punished for who or what they are.

Kaos, You SUCK!

2005-11-23T22:11:00.000-02:00

We both found out about the Sportslady's move this evening, and we both agreed to break the story in our blogs at the same time. But Kaos just couldn't hold his wad. He HAD to be first. Just for that Kaos, no you know what. So there!

On an up note, we both beat one well-known blogger to the punch. Ah, the sweet smell of victory!

Stay tuned for more on tonight's WRBL/WTVM Thanksgiving extravaganza.

We're Headed For A Better Life

2005-11-21T18:23:00.000-02:00

Lines from a Keith Urban song, but true words to me, as the days pass faster and faster. Soon, it'll be November a year from now, and anyone who's close to me knows what that means.....

I covered the School of the Americas Watch protest this weekend. For those of you who aren't familiar, the School of the Americas, now called the Western Hemisphere Institute for Security Cooperation, or WHINSEC, trains foreign soldiers in different things, including human rights and combat. It's based at Fort Benning. The protestors who come to Columbus each year firmly believe the school teaches soldiers from El Salvador, Colombia, and other Latin American countries to return to their home countries and oppress, torture, and kill people. WHINSEC firmly denies that, and calls the claim insulting. They say they, in fact, teach democracy and human rights.

There are some pretty infamous graduates of SOA/WHINSEC, including Manuel Noriega. Thousands of people show up every year to chant, sing, and yell outside Fort Benning's main gate. This year the number topped 15,000. Another event coincides with the SOA/WHINSEC protest, and that's God Bless Fort Benning Day. A family in town started GBFBD, and they're quick to tell you it's not a counter-protest, but, rather, a show of support for U.S. soldiers. I have a hard time believing that considering it happens at the same time as the protest, and the organizers themselves told me they want GBFBD, which is just like a big carnival complete with food vendors, rides, and musical acts, to send a message to the thousands gathered just outside of Fort Benning. A good number of soldiers show up for GBFBD, but when I talked to them, I found out that, while many enjoyed being away from the base, coming out was not their choice.

I really enjoyed covering the SOA/WHINSEC protest. Do I believe some of what protestors say is extreme? Of course. But I liked seeing that much passion in one place. And I liked the learning aspect. I had to do some pretty extensive research to get up to speed on SOA/WHINSEC and the protest itself. As far as GBFBD goes, I can see why people enjoy it. However, in covering it, I felt like a cheerleader for the Army, and I don't like that.

Thanksgiving is only a few days away and I will be here working. This is the first time ever I'll be away from my family for the holidays. And it's not like I'm away in Chapel Hill. I'm away in Columbus/Phenix City. I think this is going to be my grandfather's last holiday season. He has Parkinson's disease, and needs round-the-clock care now. My mom has moved in with my grandparents to help my grandma take care of him. Before he got sick, he was this strong, opinionated, dignified man. A former professor of speech and drama, he was one of those people whose presence would take up an entire room. As a child, it was intimidating. As I got older, and into my college years, I think I developed into the same type of person he was: dramatic, strong, opinionated, and not able to put up with much shit. I'm having a hard time with the fact that I won't be there this year. But, on the brighter side, I will be home Christmas Eve.

My friend, Alicia, also know as the Harlot, now has her own blog. So, you better check it out!

Roar!

2005-11-17T23:32:00.000-02:00

You know what my problem is? I'm a hothead. When something pisses me off, I have a hard time not showing that I'm pissed off. I run into this a lot in the newsroom. Somebody will be rude, or something will happen that I don't agree with, and I just can't play the game and act like I don't care. I get pissy and somewhat passive-agressive because I can't be fully aggressive in that setting. I need to control my attitude, at least at work. Then, when I come home, I can vent it all out by whatever means I choose.

Right here, right now, I'm about 95% certain I'm going to pursue a different career path when my contract is up. I'm trying to take a Kaplan GRE course (it's freaking EXPENSIVE!), and then I'll start applying for grad. school for fall of 2007. I have a friend whose working in D.C. at a research firm. I wouldn't mind doing something like that. Or working for a PAC. Or lobbying, if I really cared about what I was fighting for. Or even doing media relations for a government agency. You don't need a Master's degree for all of this, so I think the plan of attack will be to just start sending resumes and sending grad applications, and seeing what my options are.

I haven't forgotten about law school. I've got that blue suit. I could be AG Janet Reno #2. Sweet.

It's all going to come down to figuring out what I want, which, right now, feels a little bit like wandering around in a dark room trying to find the light switch.

There are some aspects that come with tv that I don't agree with. Of course money is a big deal in anything you do, but I didn't realize, starting out as a naive college graduate, just HOW big a deal it is and how much it influences everything.

Unfortunately, self protection steps in right here. There are too many people that have access to this blog to go into great detail about my opinions. I will say they are very strong, and not incredibly nice. Moving on....

Sean and I got a house! 3 bedroom, hard wood floors, and actually right next to the original one we wanted. We have to put money down on it tomorrow. My mom is helping with part of it, and then Sean is going to use his credit card for part. One day, I will learn how to manage money. If I knew how, maybe I would have saved enough to pay the first month's rent and the rent on my current apartment. Or maybe I would have resorted to old habits, like buying fabulous dresses off of ardenb.com, which happened a couple of nights ago.

The end. (I know, I know. I'm a creative genius!)

It's A Miracle!

2005-11-08T02:02:00.000-02:00

Two posts in one day!

You are the Pirates of the Caribbean kiss!

Which Movie Kiss Are You? (With Pics!!!)
brought to you by

Believe It Or Not....

2005-11-07T23:13:00.000-02:00

This is the second time I have posted in like five days. However, the first post is somewhere out in cyberspace because I was writing from Sean's computer and it turned itself off, losing everything I had done up to that point. I had too much frustration, and not enough patience, to sit down and re-write the entire entry.

I know I have to address the blog tease I wrote in the post about my vacation. In a nutshell, it was a fabulous time, and, needless to say, it was a little difficult to return to Columbus after being gone for a week. The last picture I posted was from one of the oldest graveyards in North Carolina. It's in Beaufort, a small town that's also home to one of Blackbeard's many houses. While we were on vacation, I got very into taking pictures. Not just the say-cheese-don't-put bunny-ears-on-your-sister-look-like-you-love-each-other type of pictures, but creative ones also. That picture was on of those I took in the graveyard. I would like to take a photography class at some point in the near future. It's something I really enjoy.

Moving on to more recent news.

As soon as our leases on our current apartments are up, Sean and I are moving in together. We've been lazily looking at apartments, rather than aggressively searching. This weekend, Sean came across a few houses for us to look at. We're pretty much decided that we would like to rent a house. I, for one, am tired of apartments. However, I don't have any desire to buy a house because I'm not ready to settle, or even feel like I'm getting anywhere near settling down, in one place. Today, we went to look at one of the houses he found, and it was perfect. Hardwood floors. 3 bedrooms. A small, fenced-in backyard for Katie. Good location. And I could go on and on. We go back to the realty company and tell them we like it, and are interested in going ahead and putting down a deposit. Before you pop the cork on the champagne, they tell us we aren't allowed to rent the house because, individually, we don't make enough money a month. We're not allowed to combine incomes because we're not married. What kind of BS is that? I've never heard that before in my life. First of all, both our names would be on the lease, therefore both of us would be legally obligated to make sure the rent is paid. Second of all, I don't like being made to feel two feet tall because I don't rake in the dough at this point in my life. Has this happened to anyone else? And a better question, is it legal? I talked to Lover, who's in law school, and she believes it's not. Maybe laws are different in Georgia. Who knows.

I'm about a year into my time at WTVM, and I've been trying to figure out where I want to go and what I want to do next. I haven't figured out if I want to keep reporting, get a different type of job completely, or go back to school. I went to CSU today to see about taking a few courses that would go towards an MA in Political Science. I already have a BA. I would take them as a non-degree seeking student, so I wouldn't have to worry about taking the GRE. I learned the only thing resembling masters level courses CSU has is a program in government administration. Disappointing because that's not what I want. My political science concentration at Carolina (the REAL Carolina, not that crap in South Carolina) was international relations, and I'd like to stick with something similar to that. The other thing that keeps running through my head is going to law school and specializing in media law. That's why I haven't taken the GRE. I might need to take the LSAT. I'm going to call Auburn tomorrow and see if I can enroll and take a couple of upper level courses without taking any graduate standardized tests. Bottom line is, I'm not looking to get a degree from any of these schools, so I don't see where it would be a big deal. Hopefully, and this is a keep your fingers crossed kinda thing, I can get into the University of Chicago, or Northwestern, and pursue a Masters, or a law degree, there. NYU has good programs also. I wouldn't mind that either.

Of course, when my time is up here, I'm going to send out tapes also. I'm a firm believer in keeping my options open, and being able to pick and choose.

Could Be Worse....

2005-10-11T13:58:00.000-02:00

I could be ugly, and psycho.

you are the cute but psycho happy bunny. You
adorable, but a little out there. It's alright,
you might not have it all, but there are worse

which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by

The Weather Is Here, Wish You Were Beautiful

2005-10-07T22:49:00.000-02:00

I'm slack. End of story. Honestly, I haven't felt like blogging in the last couple of weeks. There was so much irritating BS going on, and I didn't feel comfortable writing about it in here, which was also frustrating. But then I went on vacation....and now all is right.

Sean and I went and met my family up at our condo in the Outer Banks, or OBX as some people might know it from the stickers (which P.S., I think are cool, but some other unnamed persons thinkthey're stupid because not everyone know what the letters mean. Whatever, haters.). We both worked through Friday, then left immediately after the 11:oo newscast to drive my dog up to Sean's parents house in Gainsville, and then drive back to Atlanta for a 6 am flight. Well, that brilliant plan didn't go how we wanted it to. We left Columbus a little too late to do everything we needed to do and make it to the airport in enough time. So, I call US Air. I had a frequent flyer miles ticket, which means it's easy for me to make changes. However, Sean did not. Before I even start this story, let's talk about how obnoxious customer service at US Air has become. They're now outsourcing. So, when you call, more often than not you will talk with someone who has an Indian accent. This is not a big deal. However, it becomes a big deal when the person doesn't understand English well enough to get your address right. But, I digress. Anyway, I spend about half an hour on the phone changing our flight to 7:15 am. Not a big deal. It sucks. We dealt with it. So, we think we're squared away. Definitely not so. After dropping Katie off with the lovely Couch family, I called US Air one more time to make absolutely sure our tickets had been changed. Well, the wonderful customer service agent, who seemed to have some issues understanding what was going on, tells me Sean is on the 7:15 flight, while I'm still on the 6 am one. She then tells me the flight is full, but I can fly standby if I want. I tell the lady whoever I spoke with before had told me my flight was switched, and on and on we go. Finally, I ask her to tell me the point at which the airline assumes responsibility for their screw-up (I would drop the f-bomb there, but I'm trying to keep this blog PG rated). She doesn't say anything, so then I ask to speak to her manager. She transfers me, and, yay, it's someone who has no problem with the English language. The manager is very nice and she proceeds to put me on hold for several minutes, while she books me on the 7:15 am flight. We made it on time. In plenty of time to eat breakfast, and we made to Charlotte in plenty of time to find a Starbucks (Why doesn't Columbus have any?). So, I guess all's well that ends well.

I don't want to sound like I have a problem with people from a different country working at US Air. I could care less. I begin to have a problem when a language barrier results, or plays a role, in situations like the one I just described.

I'm going to break my vacation down into little blog chunks. This is chunk one. I'm going to try and post some pictures below. Sean's computer, which he has hooked up at my apartment, likes to shut itself down frequently, so if there are no pictures, that's why. Hopefully, I will be back to blogging on a regular basis. I like to think, at the very least, blogging brings me closer to my Sunday producer. It's always nice to forge a bond :)

The remnants of Hurricane Ophelia. Taken on a ferry to Shackleford Island. We just visited the island. We stayed in Atlantic Beach.

Shackleford Island is a natural preserve. In the 1800's, a ship was sinking and was trying to save themselves by dumping weight. They had horses on board, so they chucked them into the water. The horses swam to nearby Shackleford Island. There are about 150 wild horses on the island today. We only saw two of them.

Seany-poo and me on the banks of Shackleford Island. Why am I dressed like I'm scared of the sun, you might be wondering. Well, I have a sun allergy. I kid you not. And it had started acting up at that point. So, I had to cover up. Suck.

What's the deal with this picture of a graveyard? Guess you'll have to keep reading to find out, suckas! (I know, I know. You're on the edge of your seats.)

And My Reason For Being Slack Is......

2005-09-15T23:47:00.000-02:00

The last time I tried to post, which was like the day after my last post, my stupid computer or stupid blogspot ate my post. The whole thing...gone. It was very sad, so I staged a coup of sorts and boycotted blogging for a long, long time. Or perhaps I've just been lazy and that is the reason why. Whatever works. I love my blog, but the one thing I'm beginning to dislike more and more is that I can't be completely open. ANYONE can be reading it at ANYTIME. There are so many things I want to talk about, but can't. Which sucks.

Sean made it back from Baton Rouge. He ended up spending an entire week there, not just five days. We're together pretty much all the time, so the separation was rough. I do think it helped our relationship grow just that much more. Oh, and Kaos, I very much enjoyed your comment. I passed it on to Sean, and he thought it was great too.

That's going to be it for tonight. When I started writing, I had all this motivation. Then my dog, who is an attention-whore, got pissy because I wasn't paying attention to her, so I played with her for awhile. Then did other stuff. I finally came back to this entry like two hours later. And, poof! Motivation gone. I hate it when that happens. Hopefully, the words will come out of my fingers like.......insert really good simile here.....next time.

Too Long, Too Much

2005-09-04T13:33:00.000-02:00

It's been too long since I've blogged, and too much has happened. There's no way I could cover everything in one entry. The obvious is Hurricane Katrina. It's just so hard to fathom what's going on down in New Orleans. I mean, you see it on tv, but even then, those are images in a box and with tv, you can choose to remove yourself at any point you please. I did a story on Wednesday about the Red Cross moving refugees from one shelter in Columbus to another. As I was talking to this one man, he started going off about how I possibly can't understand what he's going through and that I shouldn't even try. He lashed out at the federal government, and at Bush for having troops in Iraq when we need them here. He looked like he needed to hit somebody, to blame somebody for all the pain and suffering his family was going through. This is real. Not an episode of ER, or another tv drama. I look at the pictures and like so many other people in this country, I feel like I'm looking a war-torn, third-world country, not the United States. Not the world's superpower. My colleague and friend, Elizabeth, showed me a clip from Fox News last night. Now, I never watch Fox News. I've long held the belief that much of it is right-wing propaganda. Last night, I found a whole new respect for the network. The clip was of Geraldo Rivera and Shepard Smith, both in New Orleans. Geraldo was at the convention center and Shepard was outside of it. They were talking about how people stranded there aren't allowed to cross a bridge into a neighboring town to get food or water. They're turned back by soldiers or somebody stationed at the bridge. Geraldo grabbed a baby, got teary-eyed and told people to look at the baby. He was asking why weren't the people allowed to go. Why wouldn't they just let them cross the bridge to a place where there's food, water, shelter, and, more than anything, hope. He tosses to Shepard, who starts telling Sean Hannity that the bridge is right there, right behind him and he can't understand why they won't let the people go. It was a very human moment. For an instance, these two reporters weren't just covering the story, they were part of the story. They showed they were people too. I admire that. They told people what they were seeing, uncut, unedited. Geraldo pulled out his earpiece, which, as Liz described it, sends a big fuck you message to the producer telling him to shut up. This is what tv is about. This is what it should be used for. The truth. Exactly what's happening. No spin. Period. It was great.

This hurricane has brought into sharp focus the class and race problems in this country. Ad the days pass, it seems it becomes more and more clear that money and skin color will get you everything. For example, the Associated Press had two pictures of people who had gotten food from one of the many abandonded stores. One of the pictures had two white people with bags of food, another had a young black boy. All the people were wading through water with the food. There wasn't anything different about them, except the skin color. Well, in the captions, the AP said the white people "found" the food and the black boy had "looted" the food. Another example, ABC reported a Spanish, I believe it was Spanish, diplomat had been stranded with refugees in New Orleans and the National Guard, or whoever, had walked right past every refugee, got the diplomat, and escorted him out. How can you do that? How can you look into the eyes of those people and keep on walking? Our mayor here in Columbus put it well when he told me that, right now, we're all citizens of New Orleans. Those people are our brothers and sisters.

Personally, I'm not completely unaffected by this disaster. Two days ago, our sister station in Baton Rouge called looking for a producer. They've been on the air 24 hours a day since Katrina hit. Rick, my news director, recommended Sean. He flew to Baton Rouge on Friday. When he left, I was scared. I broke down Thursday night because I was so scared that would be our last night together. He promised me over and over that he would be back, but how does he know? He doesn't. None of us do. If something happened to him, I don't think I would ever be the same. I can't see myself with anybody else. A few night ago, we were laying in bed and he asked me if I was going to marry him someday. Yes. Yes I am. He's supposed to be back on Wednesday and that feels like forever and ever and ever. While working Baton Rouge, he's gotten some firsthand accounts from their reporters and photographers that have been working in New Orleans. It's awful. Rape, murder, people beating up other people, suffering, death. He said one of the photographers got back to the station and just broke down.

Anyways, that's enough for now. I'm working nightside today, so I need to get ready for work. Everyone be safe.

One For The Dogs

2005-08-16T00:27:00.000-02:00

Even though today is my day off, I was up at 7:30 am taking my dog out. I rounded the corner of my apartment building, and there about 50 feet in front of me stood a dog. From a distance, I thought it one my neighbor's dog. When I got closer, I realized it was a stray. He looked like he was a mix of lab and something else. He was brown and lanky, with long legs, and a skinny tail that swooshed back and forth as he walked. He was also extremely skinny. So skinny, it looked like his ribs were sagging. I picked my dog up and walked the stray dog back to my apartment, where I shoved Katie inside and yelled for Sean to come look. When Sean came outside, I scooted inside and filled a huge mixing bowl up with food. The dog, who I started calling Buddy, wolfed it down. Then wolfed down a dog biscuit. I found the number for the Muscogee County Humane Society, and, even though I thought it didn't open until 10, managed to get somebody on the phone. The lady informed that the Human Society is completely full and not accepting dogs. She told me I had to call animal control. I told her I didn't want to send the dog someplace that would put it down, because, even though it is very skinny and needs a vet check, it's a friendly dog and would make a good pet for somebody. She told me animal control would keep it for awhile and try to find somebody to adopt it. Being skeptical of that, I thanked her and got off the found. When I went back outside, one of my neighbors was talking to Sean about the dog. She told me I should try the Russell County Humane Society. So, I called the Muscogee County Humane Society back and the lady told that Russell County only has animal control, and no Humane Society. So, I was at a crossroads. Do I call animal control, and have them pick up the dog, knowing that he would at least have food and shelter, but might ultimately end up being put down? Or, do I let him continue drifting, with the possibility that some nice person might spot him and decide to take him in? In the end, I decided to let him go on his way. He had wandered away as I was pondering my decision anyway, so I decided he was a drifter. I just couldn't send him to the pound, knowing that his chances for adoption were probably slim to none, with his chances of being put to sleep much higher. I put more food outside, which was gone when I checked it later that morning. I didn't see him again today, until about 11 this evening. He had planted himself on my neighbors porch while it rained and came bounding out when he saw Katie and me. He followed me back to my apartment, where I promptly gave him more food. I ran to take my trash to the dumpster, so he wouldn't get into it, and when I came back he was gone again. I suspect this isn't the last I've seen of Buddy, but if it is, I hope he has a good life, and finds a good family to live with.

2005-08-13T23:24:00.000-02:00

Here's a question. How does one person, typically so non-committal, so fearful of relationships, and so shut off to the possibility of meeting the right person this early in life, find herself becoming the complete opposite of all these things? As I was walking my dog tonight, I was trying to decide what I wanted to write about. I knew I wanted to write something tonight, I just didn't know what. Then I started thinking about recent events in my life. The boy, who does have name, Sean, and I just celebrated our four month anniversary. Not a huge milestone for most, but for me, it was enormous. See, I've never had a relationship last longer than three months....max. When I was in college, I had a pattern. I loved the chase, the games that went along with it, and the thrill of "the get." I got squirmy if I was with the same person for too long, and more often than not I found myself in relationships where the guy really liked me, and I kind of liked him, but my feelings weren't nearly as strong. My parents are divorced, and I spent most of my childhood and adolescence without my dad. He lived in the same town I did, but never seemed to have enough time for me or my sister. His priority list did not stack the way I thought it should. I think a lot of my feelings about relationships, and a lot of my fears go back to this. Even though I didn't completely drop my baggage when I met Sean, it got considerably lighter. He's got so many wonderful things about him, that it would be impossible to pinpoint one that keeps me with him. I do know that, because of him, I've grown and changed for the better. I don't look at other guys the same way anymore. I don't size them up. I don't wonder what it would be like to be with them. I can only think of how lucky I am to have what I have. It's rare. I know it, and I know that I'm lucky. I hope everyone gets the chance, at least once in their lives, to experience what I have in the last four months. I still worry about losing my independence and about having to compromise instead of doing exactly what I want. But, those worries are slowly, slowly fading. And maybe, one day, I will be able to zoom in on the exact thing that caused my transformation. One day.

In other news, I'm catsitting for my friend Deborah. Her kitty's name is Pierce, and he's a fat, orange cat. Think Garfield. I confess I've never been a cat person, but I really liked Pierce when I got to play with him at Deborah's. When she asked me to catsit, I thought it would be a cakewalk. He would do his own thing, and just be cute and fat like he is at her place. Ok, that's not what happened. First of all, Pierce hates my dog. She'll walk by him, just walk, not try to bite him or irritate him, or anything, and he'll hiss and swat at her with his de-clawed paw. He's normally a lap cat, who likes to be held, but since he's been here, he just gets pissy if you try to pick him up, especially if you're trying to move him somewhere. Sean has started calling him 'Pierce Pissy Pants,' which is pretty funny. I keep wondering what happened to my sweet Pierce. I guess he's on hiatus for awhile.

Speaking, once again, of Sean. I was trying to explain to him that I could write anything I want to in my blog because it's my space. He told me that a blog is like having sex with the blinds open. Yes, you're in your space, but everybody can see.

23 And Falling Apart

2005-08-11T22:03:00.000-02:00

In the last three days, I have had the privilege of spending time with three doctors, one being an ER physicians assistant at Columbus Regional. Normally, not a big deal, but I find, as I get older, I hate doctors more and more. On Tuesday, I was diagnosed with an infection and given antibiotics, Wednesday I had an allergic reaction to those antibiotics, then today, I find out one of my legs is shorter than the other, causing my hips to sit sort of diagonally and swelling in-between the L-4 and L-5 vertebrae in my back. I'm a slight hypochindriac, so finding out causes of my ailments was good, but I always get freaked out when I have to go to the doctor. Afraid I'll go in thinking all is well, and come out with life-altering news. I've never been to the ER before...ever. Well, I take that back. There was this one time I sprained my ankle running down Franklin Street in boots at 2 am, but needless to say I was feeling pretty good at the time, so that took a lot of the focus off what ended up being an extremely painful injury. But, I digress. I've never had to go to the ER because I was sick. I think the worst part for me wasn't the hospital, or the way I was feeling, or the intensified hypochondriac fears. I think it was the loneliness. See, I'm still fairly new to the area. I still don't know a lot of people because I work a lot, and on weekends. The boy was at work. I guess there are a few people I could've of called, but I just didn't feel like I had known them long enough or well enough to spring the whole 'I'm sick, can you come with me to the ER?' thing on them. I was sad, scared, and alone. I cried on the phone to my mom before I went, and I went to the station to find the boy and cried with him when it was all over. I miss my friends. Plain and simple. I miss the comfort of having a large number of people close who, I know, care about me. Who I can call when stuff like this happens. I feel somewhat isolated here. Like there aren't a lot of people who really want to take the time to get to know me. I've never felt like that before, so I guess it's just the getting used to it that's hard. I have been blessed with wonderful friends throughout high school and college, so maybe this is an opportunity to grow, to become even more independent, and to test my strength. Glenn, a very wise friend of mine, told me you will never feel more lonely than the time right after you get your first job. So, I guess it's normal.

Kaos, I know you're on holiday right now, but if you see this, I have a picture of one of my 4 friends that came out of the closet that night I wrote about in my last entry. He's very cute, and I think you might like him. Let me know if you want to see it.

Messages from Lover

2005-08-09T00:09:00.000-02:00

miz1fprez: dearest lover
miz1fprez: you need to return home to your apartment
miz1fprez: at least to change your away message if nothing else
miz1fprez: i have some suggestions for what it should say:
miz1fprez: 1. Lover is the greatest
miz1fprez: 2. Lover is the bestest
miz1fprez: 3. I miss Lover
miz1fprez: 4. I'm moving to Richmond to be with Lover
miz1fprez: you get the general idea. you're a pretty smart girl so you could come up with more away messages along these lines.
miz1fprez: hope you are having a great day and i'll talk to you later
miz1fprez: miss you lover

As Lover leaves for law school in Richmond, and I am here in Columbus (well, Phenix City if you want to get technical), I find myself thinking of where I was last year. At the start of my final semester at Carolina, going out every night with my friends, learning that 4 out of the 5 boys I was out with one night are gay all at the same time, going to weight watchers with Lover, UVA for a Carolina road game, decorating my apartment, and on and on. I miss it, and looking back means revisiting happy memories, but it also makes me a little sad too. I hope getting older, and hopefully a little wiser, means being able to look back at my years at UNC and smile, without wanting to run backwards towards them.

And Downward Facing Dog

2005-08-03T23:35:00.000-02:00

Before I left Chapel Hill, my lover (surely you remember her from my other posts?!?!) and I got into doing Bikram Yoga most mornings before she went to class and before I spent my day sending out tapes and stressing over the fact that I had graduated THREE WEEKS AGO AND DIDN'T HAVE A JOB. I was a little stupid back then (back then being all of 6 months ago) and didn't know enough to savor the last few months of unbridled freedom before giving my soul over to the working world. Anyways, that's beside the point. As I was saying, we started to get into Bikram Yoga right before I left. For those of you that don't know, Bikram Yoga is like regular yoga, only it's done in 110+ degree heat. Helps you sweat out all those toxins. Before these classes, I had done yoga once or twice, but never really gotten into it. I found that it made me feel awesome. My back, which is normally knotted, especially around the shoulders, loosened up. My head felt clearer. And my body really did feel like it had been cleansed. When I came to Columbus, one of the first things I did was join Gold's Gym. Now, some of the clientele that is at Gold's Gym is quite interesting, but I'll save that for another post. I noticed right away that Gold's had a yoga class and I told myself I would start going. Well, six months later, I just attended my first class last night. I'm really sore today. It was a little more of a workout than the Bikram Yoga is. But I really enjoyed it. A lot of times my back will be really tight when I wake up in the morning, but not this morning. I swear by the yoga.

Which brings me to my next point. I am a FIRM believer in chiropractors. I love going to the chiropractor and find one in every place I spend considerable amounts of time (so, with all my internships and school and stuff, I have a chiropractor in Hendersonville, Chapel Hill, Atlanta, Chicago, and now Columbus). Here's something for you all to chew on. The boy and I constantly debate over chiropractors. He thinks they intentionally screw your body up so you have to keep coming back. I think your body is something that needs adjustment and it's part of good health to keep things in line, if you know what I mean. I'd like to hear what you all think. I personally can tell when my neck needs to be adjusted. It's like a sharp pain that travels from your neck, up the side of your face, and into your head. It really sucks. So, chirpractors...quacks? Or a good service? You tell me.

War-What Is It Good For?

2005-08-02T14:09:00.000-02:00

A soldier I interviewed about a month or so ago was killed this past weekend in Iraq. I haven't known any of the soldiers that have died, until now. His name was Victor Anderson, and he was extremely nice and personable when I met him. His wife, Ellen was great too. When the war started more than two years ago, I was in full support of the Bush administration and their reasons for invading the country. Did I believe that it had absolutely nothing to do with oil? No. But I did think Saddam was a horrible person, who did horrible things to his people, and who had potential to do horrible things to us here in the United States. As this war has continued, my support for it has diminished. My support for our troops overseas remains strong because they have no choice and no say in where they are, and they have dedicated their lives to protecting our country and I know they really believe they're doing the right thing. I believe Bush was riding his American high horse, thinking he could invade a country and just because we're America, people would automatically bend to our policy and our way of doing things. I don't think he counted on the strength of the insurgency, not only in the borders of Iraq but from foreign fighters entering the country as part of a jihad. I think we are dangerously close to another Vietnam. So many people have died, and so many will continue to die as this goes on. I do believe we're doing some good things over there, but they are definitely coming at a cost that can never be repaid. At least not to the families that have lost husbands, fathers, sons, daughters, sisters, and mothers.
Needless to say, I don't care for the Bush administration in the least. I know that puts me in a serious minority in this area. His latest classic has been the recess appointment of John Bolton. I have to admit, I don't know much about Bolton and his past. I do know his confirmation by the Senate has been delayed and argued over for awhile now. So, what happened to the checks and balances in our government? Bush wants him, but the Senate is having issues with his confirmation. So what does Bush do? Waits until the recess, and goes ahead and appoints him anyways. Again, classic. I also don't agree Bush's faith-based intiatives. I, myself, am a person of faith, baptied and raised in the Episcopal Church (and I fully support our gay bishop). I, however, recognize that everybody isn't like me. We are a country with many different faiths, some believe Jesus is the Messiah, others believe he hasn't come yet, and even others don't believe in the Messiah, or God at all. By supporting these faith-based initiatives, Bush isolates sections of people in a country founded on the ideals of freedom of religion. There are so many other things I could go into, his stance on moral issues, his stance on healthcare, especially for women, and his foreign policy, but I'll save that for a different entry.
So, ever since I wrote about the 13th Street Bum, more people have been on the lookout for him. My boyfriend called and left me a minute and a half long voicemail about how he saw the 13th Street Bum moving his stuff to his old spot on the wall right next to the road, and that he looked bathed, clean-shaven, and had a brand-new 2-liter bottle of coke. I saw him chugging something out of a brown paper bag, which I assumed was a 40 of some beer like Miller High Life. When he was done chugging, he quickly shoved it under the blanket he was sitting under. Why he was using a blanket on top of his down jacket is beyond me.
I have been doing a poor job of keeping up with this blog. My goal for this week, to do much better.

Welcome To Alabama Folks

2005-07-29T04:01:00.000-02:00

I live in Phenix City, for those of you that don't know that. I have been making fun of the spelling of 'Phenix' since my arrival here just a five, almost six, short months ago. Well, a few nights ago I noticed something peculiar on the sign at the entrance to my apartment complex and I'm just filing it away for one of those random times when I find myself making fun of Alabama. Here it is:

Now, can you tell me what's wrong with this picture?
I know I haven't been tuned into my day when I sit down at the computer to write and all I can think to talk about are the animals I visited at Butts Mill Farm. In case you were wondering, the owners of the farm take a very active role in making sure their animals, which include llamas, bears, a monkey, a camel, and horses, stay cool in the summer. Some days, like today, I feel the only things I observe are the problems I have with the area. Today it was the traffic and how long it take to get anywhere in Columbus.
I only have one more chapter left in Angels In America. The movie is divided into six chapters that run about an hour each. I'm watching the final one tonight.
Here's to hoping tomorrow will be a more fruitful blogging day.

Vacation No More

2005-07-27T03:45:00.000-02:00

Tomorrow I have to go back to work after 6 blissful days off. I've been quite the traveller in those 6 days. The boy is a Georgia grad, so we went to Athens for a night, and then onto his parents house in Gainesville for two nights. I have to admit I was a little nervous about going both places. No, not nervous. That's the wrong word. Uuuuuummm....well, I can't think of the right word, but it's like I wasn't nervous, but I wasn't extremely excited either. I thought I would have to be "on" the whole time, and I wouldn't get a chance to relax at all. Turns out, I was dead wrong. Athens is a cool town. We ate at this great restaurant, Last Resort. The food was good and the atmosphere was even better. I met the last of the boy's friends from the tight group he keeps. It was nice to be back in a college town. For a little bit, I allowed myself the luxury of pretending I was back in college. It was even better if I closed my eyes and pretended to see a ram with huge balls instead of a bulldog (FYI: Carolina's actual ram mascot, not the guy dressed up as Ramses, has elephantitis. His balls almost hit the ground.).
After a night of drinking and a day of eating at Loco's and hanging out at the pool, the boy and I continued on to Gainesville. Now, the boy has this habit of making his parents seem like they are always on his back. Not the case. They are some of the sweetest, most generous, and caring people I have ever met. Not once was I uncomfortable. Not once did they make me feel like they were sizing me up or determining if I was good enough for their son. Not once did I feel like I couldn't be myself. This is a welcome change from the last guy I dated. While in Gainesville, I was the most relaxed I have been in awhile. Relaxed and very full. Between P.F. Changs, Ted's Montana Grill, and everything in-between, I've determined I now weigh 300 pounds.
I got Monday and Tuesday off too because my schedule at work is changing. Instead of working Saturday through Wednesday, I'll be working Wednesday through Sunday. My days off will now be Monday and Tuesday. So, my best friend and big sorority sis, Bridget, came down to Columbus for my two bonus days off. She's been here before, so I didn't have a Columbus virgin on my hands. One thing I made sure to do though was show her the 13th Street Bum. It's harder to see him now that he's picked a new spot to sit in. I would really like to know why he chose to move. Did someone tell him to? Did he finally decide the combination of direct sun and the down jacket was too much? Was he tired of people like myself, Swagtv, and Kaos observing him?
One thing to note, I also refer to Bridget as Lover. It's a nickname with a long story behind it, so if you want to know the history you have to come find me so I can tell you in person. Anyways, one thing Lover wanted to do, but was voted down, was go to the Piggly Wiggly in Stadium Drive in Phenix City. There are no Piggly Wigglies in NC. Apparently, the stores are magical, mystical places. At least they were until I told her I saw dead bugs in the freezer. After that, the dream was dead.
Ok, time to get ready for tomorrow. I have a feeling it's going to be a long week.

Vacation!

2005-07-25T19:58:00.000-02:00

I've been on vacation for the last five days, and have been patiently waiting to get back to post a new entry. I have so many things to write about: meeting the boy's parents, visiting Athens for the first time, and, by far the most exciting, the new location of the 13th Street Bum! Big thanks to Swagtv for snooping his new resting place out. Unfortunately, I won't be able to write more until tomorrow. My best friend from college, and sorority Big Sis, is in town. So, to my new blog friends, no worries. I haven't given up on my new hobby yet!

The 13th Street Bum

2005-07-20T04:50:00.000-02:00

I don't know his name. I don't know where he came from. And I definitely don't know why he sits in 94 degree weather while wearing a heavy winter coat. What I do know is he's a fixture on 13th Street. I call him the 13th Street Bum. While that might be a little un-PC, it's the name that popped into my head and stuck. Everyday I drive past this man, shielding his bald head from the beating sun with an umbrella, sitting on a wall, watching the traffic, surrounded by everything he owns in the world. And everyday I wonder what his story is. One time I swear I saw him walking on Macon Road, and I was shocked, since I thought he never left 13th Street. Well, apparently he does. I haven't seen him in two days and his stuff is no longer laying on the sidewalk. Where did he go? Did someone take him in? I hope nothing happened to him because, even though I don't know him, I feel bonded to him. He is part of my everyday routine, and I would miss seeing him.
I don't know how it is in other career fields, but I know burnout is a very common thing in the TV business. It can be a grind and I have seen people lose sight of what's important. I, myself, sometimes wonder if anyone really cares about what I have to say on the news. On Saturday, I was reminded that I do make a difference to people, and they do appreciate the work I put in. I covered a story about a man who was hit by a car and lost both his legs. Before his accident he was a biker. So, to help pay for his medical bills, his fellow bikers held a poker run. Now, if you're like me, you're going WTF is a Poker Run? Well, in a poker run, you pay money up front to ride your bike to five different places. You draw a card at each place and whoever has the best hand at the last place wins. Pretty cool concept. So, not only did these bikers hold this run, they also donated a wheelchair accessible van to him. This man, whose name is Wayne Fulgham, put his head down and cried when he saw the van, and saw that people cared. My photographer and I were thanked several times for coming out and telling Wayne's story. Made a difference to those people. And to the Special Olympians on Sunday. And to the kids at Camp Joy today.
If blogging were Mt. Everest, I would be at Camp 4. I got a mention in Burkard's Blog of Columbus. He was wondering why I informed another fellow blogger about my newfound hobby before him, when he was the one who inspired me to do it in the first place. Instant Message back to Burkard: My telling involved a bar, a few drinks, and a big mouth. Indeed, you are the one who inspired me. My apologies for not giving you the scoop.
A big thank you to everyone who has left me a comment. One day I'll get comments back to all of you.

You Better Start Living

2005-07-15T17:33:00.000-02:00

I find comfort in the rain. I like the fact that it justifies laying around the house in pj's, watching a movie, and drinking coffee. If it were an absolutely beautiful, sunny day, I would feel guilty about partaking in such pleasures. So, here I sit, in pajama pants, a t-shirt, and a messy ponytail, watching Angels In America with my dog. Angels In America is a phenomenal movie. I picked it up as part of a 3 for 20 trio at Blockbuster. I recognized the title, but didn't have the slightest clue what it was about. AIDS and homosexuality in the 80's. We, the audience, are given a glimpse into the lives of five different characters all struggling in different ways with these two things. Their lives become interconnected, woven together by sickness, sexuality realization, and tragedy. It was originally a stage play, so there's a lot of dialogue and not a lot of big action scenes, but the cinematography is beautiful and the acting is phenomenal. It's really long, so I've had to watch it in chunks. Right now, I'm really close to finishing the first DVD.
Even though it's Friday, today is my Sunday because I have to work on weekends. I hate that feeling. Not being able to let loose with the rest of the world when the clock strikes 5 or 6, knowing a full weekend stretches in front of you. It makes me feel off. Like I'm walking 8 paces behind everyone else. There's nothing like the vibe in restaurants and bars on a Friday night, as people blow off steam after a long work week. A friend, my boyfriend, and I were at Savana's last night, which I hear is becoming the place for members of the media, and it was completely dead. Somewhat of a disappointing Thursday night.`
In many ways, I feel like I'm just going through the motions of my life. It's been a long time since I've had one of those moments. You know, those moments where for a short time, everything is perfect. You feel blissfully happy, and you know you will always look back at that day, or that stretch of time with a certain fondness. It's those moments that make you fall in love with the place you're at. I had many of those in Chapel Hill. Little things. Like going running at dusk during the fall. It would be crisp outside, but not cold enough where to hurt your respiratory system. Or getting up at 7:30 in the morning for an 8 am swim class. Then, when the class was over, making the usual stop at the coffee place, its name I can't remember, next to Student Stores, then coming back to my apartment to shower, watch the news, and get ready for the day. I know I shouldn't dwell. That part of my life is over and all that's left of it are the memories I allow to engulf me. I miss liking where I am. Sometimes I can't even see past this town. It weighs me down, sits on my shoulders like lead too heavy to even shrug off.
Since I was tiny, I've had my eye on the city. First it was LA, but I'll be damned now if I'm living out there. Then NYC. I like NYC, but it's still not my favorite. I found my niche, my ultimate happiness, living in Chicago a few summers ago. It's hard to explain my attraction to Chicago, except to say it's the feeling I got when I was there. I belonged. I was happy. I loved everything about my life. From riding the El every morning to work to watching some man masturbate in the alley behind my apartment (hey...free entertainment right?). I'm ready to be back there. To run beside Lake Michigan, or just sit on the wall and stare out into the water. To get drinks at the Cheesecake Factory and laugh at the tourists who walk looking up at the buildings. To get caught in a rainstorm with the wind blowing so hard it turns my umbrella inside out. To watch movies in Grant Park. To listen to jazz music while drinking a glass of wine and staring at the skyline on the deck of the Shedd Aquarium. To feel content and lucky to have found my way back home. I worry often that when I get back there, I won't fit in like I did. That I will be out of place and out of my element. Sometimes, it eats my insides. I know it's stupid because I've been back several times since I've lived there, the most recent in November, and everything's been fine. I worry because I've put so much hope and so many dreams into this place, I just don't want to be disappointed. Make a lot of sense? I don't know.
Back to Angels In America, and to seeking answers for questions and worries that may not have any.

2005-07-14T00:37:00.000-02:00

Brand spankin' new...actually, that's a lie. I used to have a livejournal, but got tired of it because so many people used it as a place to say things they really should've said to people's faces. I've become an avid blog reader since moving to Columbus. It started slowly, with Burkard's Blog of Columbus , then gained momentum with Life in the 125 and The Kaos Blog. Basically I turned into a big nerd who felt my day was incomplete without checking the newest posts. Kidding. But the truth isn't too far from that. Then I had an insight: why just read, when I can do too? So, here I am. I used my old livejournal as a venting ground, a place where I could bitch and moan and nobody could talk back. While I'm sure some of that will be done here, I'm hoping to use it to record observations, insights, and to generally keep track of life as it goes by.
Life has been nothing short of interesting since I graduated from college five months ago. One degree, several road trips, a couple of interviews, and one job offer later, I find myself working as a reporter at a tv station in a town I really don't like that much. Maybe it's the cockroaches that swarm outside as soon as it gets dark. Maybe it's the humidity. No matter how clean you feel when you leave for work, you always feel gross two hours later. My boyfriend, also in television, and I were talking about how Columbus seems to be a town stuck in the past. It's modern, only it's not. I think one of the things that really gets me sometimes is the close-mindedness I encounter. Racism is still very much alive. A racial divide exists that doesn't seem like it will ever be bridged, no matter how hard organizations like One Columbus try. There doesn't seem to be a sense of community here. Is it the transient nature of Fort Benning? Or is it just plain old apathy? I have yet to see something, well except maybe Thunder on the Hooch, that just brings everybody out and gets the town excited. How many sports teams have folded here because of lack of support? Maybe if the Catfish had something as catchy and fun for the kids as the Tomahawk Chop, then more people would be at the games. And if you're thinking right now the Tomahawk Chop isn't fun...well, there's nothing I can do for you.
I'm sure I'll have much more to say about Columbus as this blog goes on. To be fair, some good things have come from this cockroach-infested, bad-driver-filled town. Meeting the love of my life and finding my dog are two.

But also the sense of self, strength and independence that comes from being in a place I don't care for, but still managing to push forward. Whether it's through bad days at work (which is the nature of the TV beast), through being homesick for both my hometown and Chapel Hill, the town I went to school in, or through fear that somehow being in a relationship cancels out my independence.
Perhaps I will find the discipline to keep this blog up. And perhaps millions will be charmed by my poetic wit. We shall see.